Sniffle Sniffle
Feeling very unloved here..I've been applying for a new job for like, two months now. And not a single bite! Am I just aiming too high? I mean, I do want my next job to earn me a pretty penny, but doesn't everyone? Am I overqualified, or worse, underqualified!? Why doesn't anyone want to hire me?! And I let slip last night on the phone, was talking to Eva (other transit woman) that I was looking for another job and she got all freaked and upset..I kind of tried to make it sound that I was just looking for part time, to replace San Fran, but that's so not the truth. I want ONE. Full time. Nice paying. Job. One. It's less hassle, less balancing and stressing and yeah. I just want one. I've been applying at the hospital because they have that kind of job, but the one I REALLY want, I probably won't hear for like 2 months if I got it or someone else. Sigh. Someone hire me : (
Christmas is here!
Okay so it's not..I'm just feeling very festive because I've been listening to Christmas songs here @ work, then on my break went to A buck or two and looked at the decorations they just got in, and I've started decorating my house already, and we have our lights all up and MAN do they look good..we only had two strands last year, so this year we got two more, and changed the color..last year they were just your basic yellowish white bulb, so we bought a whole bunch of red and green ones and alternated, we have a couple spotlights on the front of the house, a red and blue one I think..wonder why Rob didn't set up the green spot instead of the blue..hmm I'll have to ask him that. Anyways, so I've been looking at group sheet music because my instrumental group @ church is needing song ideas because the music they ordered through Lighthouse still hasn't come in..our group is called Suite Praise, isn't that swanky? I never could have come up with that. There's really no point to this post, I'm just bored..the day has gone by surprisingly fast so far, but I feel like it's slowed to a crawl now. Only 2 hours till I can start cashing out, w00t! I finished my book like 2 hours ago, so I've just been surfing since then, but I don't feel like reading my backup book (the one I have in my bag as a spare in case I should finish my current book while at work.) I felt like reading it when I put it in my bag, but that was like 2 weeks ago, I don't feel so much like it now. Oh, my dieting is going good! I havn't seen any actual weightloss yet, but the only chocolate I've had since i started has been two reese cups . In a week?! I used to be eating anywhere from 200-4000!! Calories a day just in chocolate alone. I'm doing pretty dang good. And Rob bought me a whiteboard so that I can keep track every day of my total calories, if I exercised (so far not doing too hot on that one. Ok, doing freezing.) and if I've drank enough water. Not only does it stop me from eating more once I've reached a certain amount of calories, but it also makes me see where a lot of my calories were coming from. Example: Breakfast, two pieces of toast. To cover both in :Peanut butter=370. Cheese wiz=180! One simple switch cuts my breakfast calories in half. The only problem with my system is at the end of the night when I go to record everything, I'm like, crap! I've had almost no water today! So then I try to cram my day's worth of water in , an hour before I go to bed. I havn't slept through the night in how many now..? lol. Also, I have a VERY sore throat, and pop like diet coke, helps it feel better-the bubbles feel good. But if I'm drinking pop, I'm not drinking my water. And stuff like coke and pepsi are actually dehydrants. Snucks. Anyways, sorry about this second massive post. Only an hour and a half, yay!
My Goal
Ok, everyone! I have an announcement.
I'm getting skinny.Ok, well, that's the goal anyways. I am SO sick of being like, "I remember when I could fit those jeans", or "I can't remember the last time I felt attractive" so I have decided to do something about it. Between a change in eating habits after getting married, a reaction to my birth control pills, and lack of motion (i.e. when not working, I'm sitting watching tv or playing computer) I have gained..brace yourselves..65 pounds from my lowest weight. That's right. And I'm sick of being embarrased of the rolls I have now on my waist-I'm not comfortable with myself, and I hate it. I know that eating too much and doing too little are a big ..ok major..part of it. So! I have put myself on a rigid diet, for starters. Thankfully, the four bags of chocolate Rob bought for the trick or treaters is totally gone now, so it should make at least starting the diet a little easier. As for the exercise..I'm planning on walking the dog more, but really, who likes exercise? A crosstrainer is on my Christmas list, but even used, it could be anywhere close to $100.00. Crosstrainers are fun, they're about the only thing I could see myself sticking with. I find I don't have the time or inclination for exercise DVDs, and frankly, I find them boring as well. It's sucky though, because @ San Fran, especially now with the 120 boxes of stock to unload, I'm wiped after a day's work, I don't have the energy to work out. And I don't do a lot of actual exercise at San Fran..some hard lifting, but nothing that is really a work out. Anyways, I don't know why I'm posting this.. I think just to keep my resolve in my head, that this time I really AM going to do it. My last couple attempts at a diet were forgotten within the week..going to the gym with Tina lasted what, a couple months? And again, my fault we stopped. This time though, this is it. I was lieing awake last night thinking about it, and it was the last straw. Rob started dating me when I was AT my skinniest-125 pounds. When we were married, I was about 160ish. Now - 190.. as embarrasing as it is to admit. I still remember when we'd started dating though-I asked Rob if he'd still like me if I was fat, if I started gaining weight. He said, "Of course! Mind you, 160 or so and that's getting pretty bad" or something along those lines. I remember something about 160. And if I'm way past that? I can't help but wonder if he actually still does find me attractive. And that's NOT something I enjoy thinking! So, here it is. My goal-By the time it's summer, I want to be 150. Yeah. That's 40 lbs in like 8 months, so that's 5 lbs a month. I can do that! I can probably even beat that, if I stick with it. The more overweight you are, the faster you lose weight at first. It's the plateau that kills..Anyways, to sum it up..encourage me >_<>
Freaky Deaky
So I'm here @ Transit, surfing for Christmas sheet music (so I can have it learned by Christmas) and I'm pulling my hair out. I remember like two years ago, I stumbled onto a website. It was made by a woman (with basketloads of talent) who took traditional Christmas songs and gave them her own twist. I remember I'd learned and performed one, two years back, and remembed the amazing quality. So, I wanted to find it again. Unfortunately, nothing I searched brought it up. I was getting desperate. "Woman who adds to Christmas songs on the piano for daughters" . Nothing. Anyways, completely discouraged after two hours of searching, I gave up and decided I'd have to learn regular old christmas songs. Looked at a few pages, nothing I liked, then I was reading a list on one page, and it said "clicking this link will open a new window on the Sally Deford website." WAAAAAH? CLICK!! That was the name that had been bouncing around in my head but I couldn't quite remember. So! I found the website. Cool or what? I plan on not only relearning the song I did 2 years ago (RElearning isn't too difficult.) as well as learning a new one. So beautiful and haunting!
http://www.defordmusic.com/carolsforpiano.htm#poorandquietListen to the mp3, it'll blow you away. Anyways, those are my musical aspirations. We'll see if they get learnt once the drama and choir practices start up. Cross your fingers and toes for me. Spanks.
