Fun in the Sun

Sounds like I could use a little pick-me-up, right?

I swear I have the best in-laws in the world. For Christmas, they decided no presents, instead we're all going on a cruise. They're buying us a cruise for christmas. Airfair, meals, everything.

How incredible is that?! We'd never be able to afford a holiday like that having just bought our house, which I think makes it doubley exciting.

So we've started the preparations, got our passport pictures done, I got Binx's shots done so he can be boarded while we're away (First vet trip ever, what a cute/funny/sad experience!)

I'm not going to post anything on FB or whatever until like the day before I board that airplane, because so many things can happen between now and then..but I just had to tell someone!

The best part is...the cruise they're looking at - Docks for a day in BELIZE!!!!!

I always dreamed of going back, but never imagined it could become a reality. I told our tour guide before we left, that someday, I would bring my husband there and show him the incredible, beautiful place. One day is not nearly enough to experience everything that it has to offer, but still. My dream of going back later in life could come true.

Green Eyed Monster

So, I am jealous.

And I feel like the awefullest person in the world.

I am so sad and jealous when I should be overthemoon excited for some of the most wonderful women I know.

I'm jealous that it seems like everyone I know is pregnant.

Al, Tina, now Ashley.

And I am SO THRILLED that they will be welcoming a beautiful and special child into their lives.

But it also serves as a reminder of my failure.

I have been "on the waiting list" for referral after referral to specialist after specialist. Cancelled appointment after weeks, repeat repeat. Call and beg, repeat repeat.

Our 5 year anniversary was wonderful and special, but it also shows how long we have been trying and unsuccessful.

Rob is a wonderful husband, he never blames me or says anything that isn't loving and supportive.

But he is also honest with me, that he doesn't want to be "older, in his 30s" when he has his first child. And I don't blame him.

Anyways, this post isn't to complain, more to vent my helplessness and frustration.

And sorrow, that all my friends are experiencing the happiest time in their lives as a woman, and I can't.